you're like a bully in the Christmas story
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
