R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
