He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
