He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
