Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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