First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
