So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
