It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
