if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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