Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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