Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry wickedrudy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB

Fav 4 1267 816
share tweet
(204): View more from Manitoba

all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.

Fav 4 4145 1001
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.

(1-240): View more from Maryland

Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?

(240): View more from Maryland

Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.

Fav 11 1417 3974
share tweet
(925): View more from California

First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.

Fav 14 2880 1124
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

(310): View more from California

maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

Fav 1 2201 975
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%

(1-914): View more from New York

He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal

Fav 15 2671 1211
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

Fav 6 1054 1475
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween

Fav 4 633 385
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.

Fav 1 150 129
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT