I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
