I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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