It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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