So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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