I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
