Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I AM VODKA MAN
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize