I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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