I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
