Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
