I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
