Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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