Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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