getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
