my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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