More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need water and some morals
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
