I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
