tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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