I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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