Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
