do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
