Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize