Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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