I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
