She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
