what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
