eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize