I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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