Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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