Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can you bring me the toilet please
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
