i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
