i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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