even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
did i walk over a car last night?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
