im drinking this country out of the recession.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
