Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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