I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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