Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
