She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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