Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You dont lie about slip and slides
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
