Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
