I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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