yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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