So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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