He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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