This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
