It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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