Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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