she was so not down for the gang bang
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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