i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize