5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
